so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
