the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
