There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
