Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
