If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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