Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
