did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
