Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
