Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
