she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
