Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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