and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
