I look better un-naked...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
