3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
