I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
