You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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