so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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