dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
