Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
