i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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