Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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