Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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