Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
