piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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