Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
