I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
