i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
