I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
