I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
