Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
