Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
