There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
