So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
