she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So much Jack, so little girl.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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