My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
