My liver just broke up with me...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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