You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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