It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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