I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
