I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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