oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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