Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
