:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
