i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
