what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
