Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
ttyl tear gas
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
