Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
