He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
