Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
