We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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