just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
why is half of my head shaved?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
