i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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