thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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