some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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