I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
